Here at Fauxtrack we wanted to settle once and for all the mystery of who is the real Robert Cheruiyot and why does he have so many doppelgangers? The answer, it turns out, may surprise you. Coincidently (or maybe not), there are currently three (3!) Kenyan marathon runners who are named Robert Cheruiyot, and they’re all ludicrously (not to be confused with the American rapper, Ludacris) fast at covering 26.2 miles. This article is devoted to debunking the Cheruiyot scandal, giving each their deserved recognition, and praising how ludricrously (not Ludacris) fast they run. It will never be known why naming your child 'Robert Cheruiyot' guarantees that he will be faster than his classmates, but there is scientific evidence (meaning that there isn’t any scientific evidence whatsoever) that doing so will improve his cardiovascular (blood) and respiratory (lungs) capabilities.
Robert Kipkoech Cheruiyot
The most famous of the three, Kipkoech is best known for his domination at the Boston Marathon. A four-time winner of that event, he boasts a personal best time of 2:07:14. His athletic achievements are all the more impressive considering he used to be a heavy smoker (smoking up to a little less than a billion packs a day) (but seriously, he was a smoker). Presumably, to make things easier on his fans he recently converted to Islam and changed his name to Omar Ahmed. Thanks, but no thanks. Cool name and all, but here at Fauxtrack we prefer Robert Cheruiyot.
- tip to remember him: had a fight with the finishing tape at the 2006 Chicago Marathon, tripped and smacked his head on the pavement (judges ruled that he crossed the line and was awarded the victory) (I’d say he won that battle)
- nickname: Mwafrika. Swahili for ‘African’ (Once again with the creative naming)
- Fauxtrack defining characteristic: long time impact player
Robert Kiprono Cheruiyot
This young gun has recently exploded onto the world scene with his latest win at the 2010 Boston Marathon. But wait, I thought that was the other Robert Cheruiyot? Well, you’re wrong. It was Kiprono!!! And he broke the course record in a time of 2:05:53. Though young, he has never placed worse than fifth in a major marathon competition. He’s got racing savvy, good looks, and a name that has some pretty big shoes to fill (probably about size 9 or 10). Make sure to remember Robert Kiprono as he seems to be the rising star of the Cheruiyot legacy.
- tip to remember him: Second Robert Cheruiyot to win the Boston Marathon
- nickname: the gun slinger (courtesy of Fauxtrack)
- Fauxtrack defining characteristic: new sheriff in town
Robert Kiprotich Cheruiyot
The oldest and slowest (but still silly quick) of the three, Kiprotich saw his glory days in the early 2000s. However, as the founder and trailblazer of the Robert Cheruiyot name he is, in Fauxtrack’s opinion, pretty friggin cool.
- tip to remember him: old
- nickname: the godfather (courtesy of Fauxtrack)
- Fauxtrack defining characteristic: old
And there you have the summary of the greatest marathoners to ever be named Robert Cheruiyot. As we say goodbye to the old and hello to the new, I hope that the Cheruiyot name doesn’t stop soon, if only for the sake of confusing announcers the world over.
This has been the first of many posts brought to you by HudsyBear. Sweet dreams.
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